Emotional Intelligence 101: An open letter to all Nigerian students

Dear Nigerian student,

If you’ve ever gone an entire session/semester in a Nigerian university without crying in the bathroom, plotting your lecturer’s downfall, questioning your entire life purpose, or even giving up, then Congratulations!  You’re emotionally intelligent (or slightly in denial), but let's pretend it’s the former.

How emotional intelligence has you feeling like

But, if you find yourself on the table where you’re still recovering from what that one lecturer said about you, or about the general class performance in your just concluded test, then you might want to hear what I have to say on emotional intelligence, because you’ll be needing it.

1.      Know When to Cry Silently:

You just saw your result on the portal and your CGPA is now looking like your account balance. Emotional intelligence is knowing it’s okay to feel sad, and probably even shed a tear or two, but resisting the urge to write “God will punish all of you”  on your status or class group. Abeg, don’t use your future to trend. Believe me, there’s more waiting for you in front, so grow a thick skin now.

Cry, eat, sleep and rise up again.

2.      Swallow back that insult:

When you go to the departmental office, and you ask a simple question, and the secretary replies like you’re holding her kidney, emotional intelligence is smiling, saying  “Thank you ma”,  and walking away. Swallow that curse or savage reply at the tip of your tongue because it’s a trap, and if you take the bait, you will cry.

Swallow that evil you're contemplating, biko!

3.      Be your own cheerleader:

When there's no light, no water, and your laptop battery is holding on to life by the grace of God and your phone has even died, but you still submit that assignment before 11:59pm; that’s not just motivation, that’s self satisfaction and willpower.

Ginger yourself when no one will.

4.      Empathy:

When your annoying roommate has been hissing since you got in, slamming the door and her books, and playing Burna Boy on full volume since the day started, emotional intelligence is asking her what up and not what she has been drinking. It could be a breakup, a bad result , or even family issues. You never can tell.

I know you're irritated, but still show small concern.

5.      Know how to act around people:

When there’s the group assignment, and even those that have done nothing want their names on the project or when tgat one lecturer would remember your face when you offend him, but forget it during attendance, emotional intelligence is smiling and shaking their hands, even when all you want to do is show them one or two. Know when to keep quiet and smile, and also when to react.

Know when to put people in their places and when to let by gones be by gone.

I need you to know that emotional intelligence won’t stop NEPA from taking light when your phone is on 2% or prevent MTN from making you doubt your existence, nor would it automatically change that lecturer who is the weapon fashioned against. But it will help you stay sane, focused, and maybe, just maybe, graduate with your peace of mind intact.

You're welcome!